How to Annoy Near

~Dress him up as Gerard Way in his sleep

~Steal one of his dice forts

~Throw french fries at him from inside said forts

~Dye his hair pink

~Donate his clothes to the local insaine assylum for the new dress code

~Have Micheal Jackson buy his new wardrobe for him

~Tase him untill he starts to express emotion

~When he finally starts crying, slap him and tell him to suck it up

~Lock him in a room with Fred Fred Burger

~Every time he starts talking, shout "YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

~Adress him as a "tool"

~Whenever he sits/squats, push him off his chair and shout "NO!  YOU WILL NEVER BE L!  STOP TRYING!"

~Throw a soccer ball at his face when he starts playing with his toys.

~Whenever he says something about Kira, say  "L would be ashmed.  ASHAMED I SAY!"

~Randomly throw beer in his face while chanting "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!"

~Tell him "N" doesn't sound as sexy as "L"

~Ask why he can't have a halfway descent nickname like Mello

~Rig all of his TV's to play "Titanic" on a loop

~Cry on his shoulder for a good hour and a half after watching said movie

~When he asks why you're crying, say "It's called EMOTION, BITCH!" and taser him